


Blessing or a Curse?

by westwingwolf



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:26:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3401723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingwolf/pseuds/westwingwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff encourages the group to sign up for a parenting class expecting it to be taking care of an egg or something and therefore an easy A. However, Jeff should have learned by now that his blow off classes are never what they seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blessing or a Curse?

Jeff walked into the study room and enthusiastically shared his announcement. "I know I have had some trouble with this in the past, but I mean it this time. I have found the ultimate blow off class. It's a two week course in parenting. Come on, think about it, this is Greendale so they can't afford those expensive baby machines which means it will be two weeks of taking care of a sack or flour or sugar or an egg. Any of which can be picked up at your local grocery store should you break something or go through a hunger craze."

"I spent some time learning about babies last semester. I'd like a chance to put the knowledge to a test. I'm in," said Abed.

"Me too." Troy agreed. "Maybe we could get some good ideas for our new movie Adventures in Babysitting II: Baby Thor," he exclaimed before making his special handshake with Abed.

Abed explained, "A babysitter takes care of a baby who may or may not be the god Thor reincarnated in baby form. Britta, we'd like you to play the part of the babysitter."

Britta gave the boys an odd look before stating, "I guess I can take the class for an easy A. I need it because I'm averaging a D in Theoretical Phys Ed. Who knew theoretical menstrual cramps don't count?"

"Well, I'll be happy to take the class. I love to impart my parenting wisdom to everyone," Shirley smiled.

Pierce added, "Yes, I too can pass on my knowledge of parenting expertise. But be forewarned, my fake child will kick all of your fake children's asses."

Jeff stared at Pierce before turning his attention to Annie, "What about you, Annie? You up for cooing over baking ingredients?"

"If everyone else is, then I will too. But I'm stating right now, I don't want to be the only one left without a partner. I went through that when I took a similar class in high school. Every one mocked me, and someone even stole my sugar baby, and the football team had practiced with it."

Troy's eyeballs bulged. "That was you? On the plus side, we did learn how to cradle the ball better." At Annie's disgusted look, he muttered an apology.

When they entered the designated classroom, they saw Chang sitting in the front row. He greeted them nicely, "Hello all, I thought I would take this class in order to prepare myself for my impending fatherhood."

Shirley let a glare roll across her face before settling into a nicer tone and replying, "That's very responsible of you, but I'm sure the effort will prove unnecessary." She moved on taking a sit next to Britta and far from Chang.

At the front of the room, stood Dean Pelton and a harried looking middle-aged woman. When everyone was seated, the dean spoke, "Welcome everyone, and thank you to all eight of you for signing up for this special class on intensive parenting. Let me introduce you to your new children."

Four students each brought in a baby carrier, placed it on the empty desk at the front of the class and left hurriedly.

The dean continued, "For this class, you'll each be taking care of a real baby provided and volunteered by our own Professor Slater!"

Jeff's head shot up with a worried look. Annie, Britta, and Shirley gasped. Troy shrieked. Abed looked intrigued at what this might do for Jeff's character development. Pierce looked confused. And Chang smiled evilly.

The dean laughed. "I'm just kidding Jeffrey. These adorable babies are quadruplet boys from Professor Rogers," he motioned to the lady, "here, who agreed to come back early from maternity leave in exchange for a two week vacation away from them. Now, I'll take my leave so Professor Rogers can tell you all about the joys of parenthood, and again thank you all for your participation and awareness that dropping the class now results in automatic failure." He stated the last bit in a rush before backing out of the classroom.

The study group turned a synchronized glare toward Jeff.

Professor Rogers spoke, "I understand there is a Shirley Bennett in this class." Shirley raised her hand. "I hear you are pregnant and are already a mother of two children." At Shirley's nod, Rogers continued "Then you have my sympathy, and I award you with an automatic A for this class. You will not be required to look after one the babies."

Shirley smiled. "Oooh! Thank you. Jeff, you were right, this class was a great idea." Jeff grumbled in mock agreement.

"As for the rest of you, you'll need to choose a partner." Abed and Troy exclaimed their intent to be a pair. "Wonderful, now, since we're uneven, someone will have to take care of a baby alone, or three people can work together to take care of two children."

Suddenly, Rich entered the classroom. "Sorry to interrupt. I just spoke with the dean in the hallway. He mentioned that you were need of some babysitters, and I thought as I was the one who delivered the little guys; then I could certainly help out."

"Thank you. Now, we'll be even again. So who would also like to pair up?" Rogers asked.

Jeff grabbed Annie's hand and raised them together. "Annie and I are a team."

Annie shot Jeff a questioning look before speaking low enough for only him to hear. "Really?"

"What? You said you didn't want to be left taking care of a baby alone."

"No one would be alone now that Rich joined."

"Neither of us wants to be paired with Pierce or Chang. I think Troy and Abed filled the same sex quota for this project. And can you imagine a kid that's forced to be raised by Britta and me?" Jeff asked.

Annie admitted he made some excellent points. "I guess all that's left is to choose our kid." She approached the front of the room. Jeff motioned for her to pick one. She chose the baby who was sporting an adorable case of tiny bed head and had eyes similar to her own.

After she picked him up, she implored Jeff to hold him. He initially refused, but gave in to Annie's pleading look, and awkwardly held the baby. After a few minutes, the child snuggled into Jeff's designer shirt. He smiled smugly, "At least we know he has good taste."

Annie smiled and they returned to their seats to await further instructions. They realized Britta had chosen Rich as her partner, probably in order to keep from being paired with Chang or Pierce which left them as the final pair.

Rogers spoke again, "You are provided with car seats, bassinets, formula and diapers for three weeks to ensure you'll have enough, blankets and other essentials. Are there any other questions?"

Annie raised her hand, "What are their names?"

Professor Rogers rolled her eyes. "You'll only have them for two weeks. Call them whatever you want. Anything else?"

Jeff's hand shot up. "Yeah, can we draw up a contract ensuring that you will take them back in two weeks?"

After the contracts had been signed and notarized, the group left with each of the babies. Shirley went home to spend time with her own children. Troy and Abed took their son to purchase a tiny Kickpuncher outfit. Chang and Pierce left with their baby, and everyone was actively trying to avoid worrying about what would happen to the baby. Rich, Britta, Annie and Jeff had taken their babies to the cafeteria. At the moment, Rich was in the kitchen. He had volunteered to heat up some formula for the two babies.

Annie asked Britta, "What have you and Rich decided to name your baby?"

"Rich said because hypothetically I would have been the one given birth to the boy, that I should be the one to name him. So I've chosen Thom Yorke Perry-Stephenson."

"I have a name in mind, but I'd like to know Jeff's opinion."

"I'm sure whatever you pick will be fine." Jeff knew he could be as thoughtful as Rich or at least pretend to be.

However, Annie seemed to blanch a bit at his answer before returning a smile to her face. "Well, I was thinking David after my favorite grandfather and Tobias after Jeff's middle name."

Jeff nodded. "David Tobias Edison-Winger sounds perfect."

"Actually, I was thinking just David Tobias Winger. For the purposes of this assignment, I imagined we would be married so little Toby can have a stable environment." Annie stated as if there was nothing odd about her reason.

Before Jeff could speak, Britta said, "You know, Annie, as a modern woman you don't have to take your husband's last name just because you married him."

"I know. As a modern woman, I'm choosing to take his last name because I want to…for the purpose of this two week fake marriage."

Sensing a need to cut Britta off before she could retort, Jeff said, "I'm sure Toby Winger will be happy with all the thought you've put into his temporary stay, Annie."

At this point, Rich had returned with the bottles and picked up Thom in an expert cradling move to feed him. Not to be outdone, Jeff picked up Toby and tried to copy Rich's moves while also appearing as if it came naturally to him. He failed as more of the formula spilled down Toby's chin than in his mouth. Annie took the baby away from him. She had a bit of difficulty holding him correctly, but found a good method easier than Jeff and soon Toby was drinking his meal.

After the babies had finished their meals, and Rich had shown them all the best way to burp a baby, he said "You know it's such a nice day outside, and I bet these little guys could use some fresh air. What do you say we all move this party to the quad?"

Britta agreed, but before Annie could do so, Jeff spoke first, "Oh, I'd hate for Annie and me to miss that, but we should really hammer out all the details of this assignment. I know Annie won't be happy unless we day to day itinerary planned. You three have fun!"

Once they said their goodbyes, Annie pulled out her notebook. "Okay, I was thinking we could rotate the schedule either every couple of days or maybe each of us could take a week. I don't think it will make much since to switch every other day. Now, of course, if one of us has a class, the other will be looking after Toby. Though I don't know what we'll do about Anthropology, maybe…"

"Annie, I'm sure whatever schedule you draw up for our classes is fine, and we can talk to Duncan before class on Monday. He'll probably excuse us so as not to risk any crying aggravating his hangovers. But what's this about rotating a schedule every couple of days?"

"For where Toby spends the night. I know you expected this to be a blow off class, but you've got to share the responsibility for nights too."

"I never said I wouldn't. Why would you think so?" With Annie's look, he added, "Don't answer that. Anyways, I'm thinking your neighborhood isn't a good place for you, much less a baby. Toby and you can stay at my place."

"But won't it be crowded with the three of us and Chang and the baby he's watching?"

"I overheard Pierce offer him a place to stay for two weeks as long as he does all the work plus Pierce's laundry."

"Oh, okay, in that case, I'll pack a bag and meet you at your place."

"Um, I don't think I'm comfortable being alone with a baby just yet. How about the whole Winger family makes a trip to Dildopolis?"

Annie entered Jeff's apartment holding Toby while Jeff carried her bags and Toby's carrier. She stared around at the apartment. Jeff had sparse furniture and several unopened boxes. She struggled for a compliment. "It's very…sleek and, um, minimalist. I like what you've not done with the boxes."

Jeff set the bags and carrier down. "Yeah, I know there is not much to it, but I don't plan on this being permanent, so I don't see the need to make huge improvements."

"You'll be living here for at least another two years. I don't think it will hurt to unpack a few boxes and hang a few pictures. This place is lacking in color which Toby needs to promote his visual learning."

"Toby will only be here for two weeks. I highly doubt staying here will stunt his learning skills."

"You don't know that. The first few years are critical to a baby's development. Any impediment could set him back."

"Did you read every baby book in preparation for this class? This was supposed to be a blow off class, Annie."

"Well, you're lucky I did prepare because once again your blow off class blew up in your face." Toby had started to cry when their voices rose, so she jiggled him in effort to calm him, and then spoke in a softer voice. "This isn't just about Toby. I think you'll be much happier if you don't live like you're in a Sylvia Plath poem."

"Fine. If will make you happy, during the time you spend here, you can make some minor changes. If I don't like it, I'll turn it back after you leave."

"Great! Can you get Toby's bassinet from the car? I'd like to put him down for a nap, and then you can help me find some picture frames that don't currently feature you posing. I have some wonderful candid shots of the group you can have."

"I'll set the bassinet up in my room. That's where you'll be sleeping."

"You don't have to do that. Toby and I can stay out here, and I'll take the couch."

"No, the couch is fine for me. It pulls out. Besides I don't want to subject you to the last place Chang slept, and my mother would never forgive me if I didn't show good hospitality."

"You plan on telling her I'm sleeping over?"

"She calls every Sunday and if she hears a baby crying, I'm going to have to explain everything. Best to avoid any wrath so I can save my energy for when this will give her more fuel for grandchildren."

There was an awkward pause before Jeff turned to leave for the bassinet, and Annie focused on getting Toby to sleep.

After Toby's nap, Jeff and Annie quickly discovered he was in need of a diaper change. They set up a changing station on Jeff's table.

Annie stated, "I've read about the dangers of changing boys, so you might want to…"

However, Jeff cut her off, "I understand this is going to be horrible. There's no need to warn me." He undid the diaper and failed to notice Annie had backed away before a stream of pee hit Jeff square in the face. He squint his eyes and blindly walked toward the sink.

When he was done thoroughly washing his face, yet still feeling like he wanted a hot shower, he turned back to see Annie proudly holding up Toby in his brand new diaper. "For the record, when I finally do decide to have children, it will not be until after science has made it possible to genetically engineer a female child."

Annie smiled down at Toby. "I'll remember you said that when your complaining about boys chasing after your teenage daughter."

"I'll handle the boys if you promise to deal with all the emotional girl stuff."

As they both realized the implication of this statement, they each scrambled for something to say. Finally, Jeff asked, "Is there anything we should be doing for Toby."

"I guess he should have another feeding."

"Sure, fill him up with more ammo."

Annie laughed. "Why don't you take a shower, and I'll feed him." Jeff nodded in agreement and began to leave the kitchen. At the last moment, he turned back to watch Annie as she smiled and made silly faces for Toby. He laughed gently to himself and continued on to the bathroom.

Jeff and Annie had settled in for the night, after preparing a feeding schedule. Jeff was horrible at getting Toby to eat, but knew it wouldn't be fair to make Annie wake up as he slept. They compromised so Jeff would wake up to prepare the formula, wake up Annie who would feed Toby while Jeff went back to sleep.

At the first scheduled feeding, Jeff entered his room to see Annie sleeping. She looked so peaceful; he was loathed to wake her. He went to Toby's bassinet and tried to feed him. This promptly started the crying which in turn woke Annie. When she got her bearings, she held her arms for the baby. Jeff gladly handed him over and then passed her the bottle. But he did not leave the room. Instead, he sat next to her on the bed and watched as she fed Toby. He told himself he just wanted to learn the proper technique so they could switch off feedings, but a part of him was smitten with how Annie looked cradling a baby.

In a few days, Jeff's apartment had transformed somewhat due to Annie's redecorating. Any leftover boxes were stored in the closet. Color curtains and rugs accented the place to make it more home-like because Jeff refused to paint seeing as he saw no need to improve a place he was only renting. He cited Toby's presence as a hindrance to painting anyway, and Annie dropped the subject. She had followed his instructions and chosen a manly dark blue for the curtains and rugs.

He also had several photos lining the walls and on end tables. Some were of him and his mother, but most were of the study group including a picture of him and Annie taken after the infamous food fight. Annie had even managed to find the one of him as a young boy in a cowboy outfit. She had insisted in pairing it in a frame with his costume from the Dia de Los Muertos party. He agreed only because she had also placed a picture of herself in her sexy skeleton costume in the frame.

Annie, Britta, and Shirley had gone out for a woman's day because Shirley had learned she would be having a daughter and wanted to prepare and was looking forward to buying dresses for her little girl. Annie had mentioned Rich was taking over babysitting duties for Britta, but she was worried to leave Toby alone with Jeff. Jeff assured her he had carefully learned all her techniques and would follow her instructions to the letter, so she could rest easy and have fun with Shirley and Britta.

The truth was things were still difficult, but he had managed to feed, burp, and change Toby (this time without needing a shower) all on his own. He had fallen asleep on the couch with Toby lying on top of him.

This is how Annie had found them when she entered the apartment. Not resisting the urge to capture the moment she took out her phone and snapped a picture.

Jeff awoke a few minutes later. Seeing Annie standing over him with a smile on his face, he looked down to where Toby was still sleeping and drooling on his chest. "There isn't any chance you didn't…"

"Snap a picture and send it to Britta and Shirley with the caption 'Cutest Moment Ever!' and then post it on Facebook?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry." She didn't look the least bit sorry.

"That's okay. Toby and I can't blame you for wanting to share our handsome mugs with the world."

Before they realized it, the two weeks were over. As they returned the children, Jeff knew he wasn't ready for a baby, but he was a little sad to see the baby go. Annie couldn't get mad at him as long as he was holding the baby, so he was easily forgiven for a lot of misdeeds as they lived together.

Not wanting to look overly sentimental, he bent down to whisper a goodbye to Toby (whose real name turned out to be Damian) and give him a tiny fist bump. He looked up expecting to have been stealthy, but he caught Annie's gaze from across the room. She smiled at him and he returned it.

As they were leaving the classroom (having all received As, Troy & Abed getting extra credit for wanting to put the babies in their movie sequel to Adventures in Babysitting), Annie mentioned, "I guess we should go back to your place so I can get my things."

"I've been meaning to talk to you. There's an apartment opening up in my building. It's a little smaller so it's cheaper. Slightly more than what you pay for your current place, but now that I'm consulting, I'm in need of someone with excellent scheduling skills so I don't fall behind in class or miss any meetings. What I pay you should be more than enough to cover the new place and still have money to live off of."

"Thanks Jeff. I really appreciate that." She hugged him.

He returned the hug, but took longer than necessary to let go. "No problem. I really want you to feel safe in your home and your life."

She smiled. "So now that you've spent some time with Toby who I refuse to call Damian, what are your final thoughts on children?"

"I still want to wait a while, but I'm thinking with the right person, raising a child won't be so bad."

Annie smiled even wider before linking arms with him, and walking out together.

The End.


End file.
